Friday, June 05, 2009

Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before


This is Chris Packham, broadcaster, naturalist and new presenter of four nights a week, three week, seasonal live BBC family nature programme Springwatch.

Chris is a little different from sexagenarian predecessor Bill 'The Goodies' Oddie. Chris was born in 1961. He has a quiff, and two pet poodles called Itchy and Scratchy. He likes The Jesus and Mary Chain. And The Smiths.

And seemingly without the knowledge of his production crew and co-presenters, Chris has bet a friend that he can slip a Smiths song title into every episode of Springwatch.

So: he informs his co-presenter Kate 'looks more like a Chris Rea fan' Humble that she doesn't get any points for correctly predicting the date the baby blackbirds would fledge because 'You Just Haven't Earned It Yet Baby'; he describes a male bustard in courtship plumage as resembling a 'Vicar In A Tutu'; he says that with the warbler chick "it really is the case that 'Bigmouth Strikes Again' "; and he wonders, in a solemn discussion about the global threat to bees, if indeed 'The Queen Is Dead'.

He is also a t-shirt connoisseur...



....and has my daughters wondering 'why Daddy is laughing again'.

Genius, genius, genius.

Can we please make him Prime Minister?

The Rutles - 'Let's Be Natural' (1978)

40 comments:

  1. But Madonna doesn't lust after him, like she does Bill Oddie:

    Bill Oddie
    Bill Oddie
    Put your hands all over my body...

    Erm, I'll close the door on my way out, OK?

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  2. I've enjoyed watching Chris Packham since The Really Wild Show.

    Tis a shame you can't watch Springwatch in Japan. Grrr.

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  3. FiL's here all week, have the chicken in a basket.

    I never saw him on TRWS Marc, but I understand that at the time he had a Keith from The Prodigy-style barnet? Clearly the man is television gold.

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  4. I'm sure I remember him saying in an interview many years ago that he didn't like kids, which isn't something you'd really expect someone presenting a children's show at the time to come out with!

    Although I've dipped in and out of Springwatch, as ever, this year, I hadn't noticed his Smiths song titles game. That may well be the best thing I've heard all week.

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  5. He's also done 'Hand In Glove' (in programme 1), 'What Difference Does It Make' (programme 2) 'Handsome Devil' (programme 3) and 'Frankly Mr Shankly' (programme 4).

    I'm really hoping for 'Paint A Vulgar Picture' and 'That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore' next week...

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  6. Marvellous - I read Girlfriend In A Coma, years ago and that seemed to be sprinkled with song titles too (not all Smiths ones)..

    And who's that outdoor dolly that's like Nigella of gardening?
    (You can do your own jokes about buds and bushes)

    My nomination for prime minister? Eno. It has to be. Can you imagine him breaking out the Oblique Strategies at cabinet meetings. Fantastic

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  7. I just 'drew' a random O.S card for Gordon - 'Don't Break The Silence'. That David Sheppard book (though it does have an unnecessarily large amount of big words in it) has really reinforced for me what a top geezer Eno is.

    I believe the very fragrant Ms Rachel De Thame may be the lady to whom you refer.

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  8. That's her..
    *goes purple and faints*

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  9. Some girls are bigger than others?

    I went to a wedding in Thame the other week, unfunnily enough. That was dead posh too.

    Packham really is our man on the inside. I've often thought if I ever got to appear on TV (besides Crimewatch) I'd use it as an opportunity to wear loads of t-shirts with similarly kitschy n' retro slogans on them.

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  10. 'Our man on the inside' - damnit but that's what this post should be called.

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  11. This has made me completely ashamed of the contents of my wardrobe (especially the t-shirts), and I'm going out tonight, and now I don't know what to wear!

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  12. It's too late for tonight Darce but I imagine you'd cut a fine figure in one of these.

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  13. PS: I hope you are all enjoying The Rutles.

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  14. Marvellous, Dave, marvellous. They get +1 viewer next week. But, how on earth did he get Frankly Mr. Shankly in there, pray?..!

    Mx

    P.S. Many thanks for your donation!

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  15. Just a casual "And Frankly Mr Shankly.....*says something interesting about ducks* ".

    Of course!

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  16. never seen this bloke before.....other than the fact he's a Man Utd fan he's a top banana

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  17. PS: According to Wiki 'Chris is a supporter and season ticket holder for Southampton FC'.

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  18. Note that at this point, the Rutles are composed of Dirk, Stig, Nasty, and Kevin.

    In the same way that Pete Best would be replaced by Ringo Starr, Kevin is the drummer who would later be replaced by Barrington Womble.

    (Though, of course, it isn't really that simple. The person who played Kevin would actually later play Barry, and at this nascent point, a different person entirely plays Stig.)

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  19. Thanks for clearing that up Dickie.

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  20. 'Chris is a supporter and season ticket holder for Southampton FC'.

    I owe him an apology then...just looked from that clip that he wanted theevil mob to win.

    AND....between his love of great music and his choice of football team, that makes him a bit of a god as far as I'm concerned, for I'm happy to reveal that I started supporting Saints back in 1976 after they beat Man Utd in the FA Cup final. But its been a tough past few years.

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  21. Which Smiths song will it be tonight readers? Tune in and see!

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  22. Live SpringWatch update at 8:44 BST 08/06...

    It was 'STOP ME IF YOU THINK YOU'VE HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE'!!!!

    Is Chris reading TGOE???

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  23. Caught it live - "Kate, stop me if you've heard this one before,..." All done with a straight face. Priceless!

    Mx

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  24. Just three more programmes to go now: I'm still really hoping for 'Paint A Vulgar Picture' Chris, if you're listening...

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  25. 20:03 BST. CHRIS SCORES IN UNDER A MINUTE!! Is the male swallow 'Still Ill' ?

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  26. Ah! But did you get Sweet And Tender Hooligan - describing stoats!!

    Mx

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  27. NO!!! But the lad's on a roll! The wasps 'Oscillate Wildly' and 'Last Night (He) Dreamt Somebody Loved (Him)! It's four in a single episode. And there are still 17 minutes to go. Dare he risk a fifth???

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  28. YES! 'This Charming Man' David, the wildlife photographer!

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  29. Top night. Wish I hadn't switched off now!! Will now have to watch all the remaining episodes...

    Damn!

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  30. You'll all have been watching the football tonight so you'll have missed a spectacular six from Chris: 'Ask' me Kate, the poorly male swallow looked as if he was at the 'Cemetery Gates', the chicks are going 'Nowhere Fast', the pigeon's stolen the owl's nest and is saying 'Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want', thanks for the picture to viewer 'Sheila, Take A Bow' and 'I Know It's Over' for the water vole snatched by the heron *weep* .

    One more episode to go. You will probably be glad to hear.

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  31. Think it's just me and you, compadre... OK, I know this is (very) sad but I did indeed watch the footie last night and - ahem - recorded Springwatch. Sorry Dave.
    Also - Unloveable! Is 7 the most for one show and what can we expect in the final stanza tonight? Ooh! Just can't wait.

    Mx

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  32. *steps across tumbleweed blowing through last knockings of comments to this post* I missed it. I were at the boozer. Mrs H sez Humble did a joke. Peace, out x

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  33. Indeed she did. He gave her flowers and hoped Mr Humble wouldn't be jealous and she quipped that she hoped it wouldn't put his Girlfriend In A Coma. Quiock as a flash he was back with "of course, Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others".

    And the rest? I Started Something I couldn't Finish (the fledglings!), Paint a Vulgar Picture (messy chicks in the nest), These Things Take Time (Goldfinch courting). And was the slip of the tongue "Short Reprise" (rather than reprieve) a side reference to the label? I'll get my coat.

    But my favourite was the show's intro when they welcomed greetings and praise from Bill Oddie. Chris to camera: "William, It was Really Nothing".

    Marvellous.

    Mx

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  34. The complete list, including some we have missed, is here.

    I understand the flowers were gladioli too x

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  35. They were, they were!! How could I have missed that?

    Magnificent!

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  36. I compiled them. Apologies if I've missed any. Not signing up to any forums to post this, so feel free to spread it.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FT9hGAlt89o

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  37. Superb; just superb. A splendid job Colin, thank you.

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  38. 'These videos are not available outside the UK.'

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  39. And quite right too; no TV licence, no freeloading I say. I had that Kim Jong-il in the back of my cab, and...

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