Naughty Alan's strict Dad looked like the bloke in the Bisto ads, but there the similarity ended. He had no discernible sense of humour, an inflated sense of his own moral superiority and ran a Repressive Parental Regime (I actually think his kids called him 'sir'); and so naturally Alan, who was really just a bit cheeky to begin with, rebelled big time when he hit adolescence and turned to a life of crime.
It started with nicking singles from Woolworths (at which he proved highly adept) and went on to breaking and entering (the local off licence, if you must know). Later I think he did actually end up in prison. I remember him as a nice, strangely generous person who had the first home computer game I'd ever seen (Pong)...and, well yes, a lot of 45s....
....which meant the rest of us got to make some seriously good compilation tapes.....
This is the oldest cassette in my collection; hand-labelled by a 14 year old me it is, courtesy Naughty Alan's thievery, a little time capsule of the UK chart pop of the time.
And there's no musical snobbery here (that would come later) - plastic 'mod' and synthpop and disco and new wave and B.A bloody Robertson, I borrowed and taped it all. This is the authentic sound of Top Of The Pops, UK Top 40 radio and the Friday night school disco in the autumn of 1979.
'The Time For Action' - Secret Affair
'Strut Your Funky Stuff' - Frantique
'Message In A Bottle' - The Police
'Don't Stop Till You Get Enough' - Michael Jackson
'Dreaming' - Blondie
'Ooh! What A Life' - The Gibson Brothers
'Back Of My Hand' - The Jags
'Street Life' - The Crusaders
'Cruel To Be Kind' - Nick Lowe
'Beat The Clock' - Sparks
'Is She Really Going Out With Him?' - Joe Jackson
'Contact' - Edwin Starr
'Angel Eyes' - Roxy Music
'The Eton Rifles' - The Jam
'Crazy Little Thing Called Love' - Queen
'Video Killed The Radio Star' - The Buggles
'Cars' - Gary Numan
'I Want Your Love' - Chic
'Oliver's Army' - Elvis Costello & The Attractions
'Making Plans For Nigel' - XTC
'Diamond Smiles' - The Boomtown Rats
'Knocked It Off' - B.A Robertson
'Let Your Heart Dance' - Secret Affair
'Since You Been Gone' - Rainbow
'Angeleyes' - ABBA.
Will you let me off with a caution?